One of the many hot topics this year has been about the babies conceived during quarantine. I get it, we had to shelter in place and some of us had some extra alone time together. But is it wrong that I don’t want to consider that my baby was conceived under those circumstances?
We had a tough year, we all have had a tough year. 2020 was a year of ultimate and unreal craziness. I won’t get into it too much because the political issues are so heated, and that’s another topic on a different level. My husband and I had been talking for a long time about a possible third child. Actually, when we were first a couple we had planned for four children and even picked out names – crazy I know! But we loved each other so much and wanted a “big” family because it was something we loved growing up. We loved our childhood – yes it wasn’t perfect, but the memories bring us joy, and we wanted to express our love for one another by having a big family together.
So when did reality hit? Well the dream wasn’t crushed, but having our second baby was not a walk in the park. She is an a absolute joy and I will never want her to think it was a criticism to her, but sometimes you don’t take into consideration the needs of that child over your own. My youngest still needed my attention, and that would make bringing a third sibling into the mix very difficult. We had to seriously sit down and consider who’s life would really benefit from it. Sounds strange maybe, but we want to give as much as we can to our children and we don’t want a stressful or overwhelming life. You’re only young once and we are only parents to young children for so long.
It was a very tough spot for me. My heart said three children, but my head said two was probably for the best. It was a topic on my mind and I couldn’t shake it. My husband even said let’s talk about it later, we don’t have to decide now. But I couldn’t drop it, I kept thinking can I drop it, will I regret this? Finally, I started searching the web for other moms who struggled with the same questions. Surprisingly, there really wasn’t a ton on the topic, but one key point that I got was if you’re not sure than you’re not done. Any doubt in your mind means you are not done having children. And although there will be obstacles, you can overcome them if it’s something that is meant to be.
Now obviously this isn’t true for everyone; if you really don’t have the financial stability, but what I liked was if you want it to happen you’ll make it happen. The love a mother has for her children is endless. After reading this I realized that I did want one more child. There were so many benefits for my two children by adding one more. It wasn’t a question in my mind anymore. Very surreal, but once I shared with my husband and we were both on the same page, that we would try again (no specific time in general). We finally agreed we would give it one more shot and if it happened we would be so thankful and excited, but if it didn’t, we would close the door. Because we didn’t want it to consume us and we didn’t want it to preoccupy our minds to the point that we missed out on our other two. When we were trying for our second it was the only thing on my mind and I didn’t want that to happen again. And very soon after it was decided we got pregnant.
So this brings me back to my point about why I don’t consider my baby a quarantine baby. I want my baby to know that we wanted them, this was a baby our hearts knew we wanted. And why might that be important? Because every child deserves to know that they are loved and they were wanted in this world. This time is not ideal or the best and I wanted to make any possible changes to ensure the safety to my baby. I still wanted my baby and that love overcomes all. So, yes my baby was conceived during the pandemic, but it was conceived because two parents loved each other and had opened their hearts to bring another child into their family.
Some may say that just because they refer to them as quarantine babies doesn’t signify anything negative, so I shouldn’t project it, but I would argue that I had my baby because my husband and I love each other. Quarantine may have many meanings to some, but I’ll always be grateful I was able to conceive a beautiful blessing to my family and it was a gift that happened on purpose.